Memory
by BreatheInEMinor
Summary: Roderich remembers. GC songfic. SpAus, AusHun, PruAus.


Roderich remembers Antonio.

The playful Spaniard that swept him off his feet when they'd first met, in high-school. The sun-kissed boy had a cheerful personality that made even the well-mannered Roderich loosen. They had been in love, Roderich had thought. They had perfect chemistry, opposites attract, right? Roderich saw past Antonio's country bumpkin mannerisms, and Antonio learned how to act like a proper gentleman on the occasions the Austrian asked of him to be.

So what happened?

Roderich sighs as he remembers Antonio's besos, in the middle of the night. When Roderich knew he should have been asleep for work the next day, but when you're with Antonio, everything you do is impulsive and wrong, but oh so right. He remembers their sleepless nights, and the afternoon siestas of sleeping in the hammock out back in Antonio's strong arms. He remembers when they were in love.

Maybe they got too comfortable with the knowledge that they were destined to be the high-school sweethearts that wed, that they ignored their problems. Everyone had problems, right? It was normal, it made them more human. They were supposed to get married and be happy together!

Roderich remembers the first night Antonio came home late. He remember the smell of cheap alcohol on the other's breath and the smell of something they hadn't had in awhile. The Austrian closes his eyes, feeling tears form around his violet eyes, remembers Antonio's green ones. He remembers how angry they looked whenever Antonio came home drunk. It frightened Roderich to see the Spanish man like that, he'd never seen him angry.

Maybe it was his fault? Maybe Roderich just hadn't been right, didn't make Antonio happy. Not as happy as the man Antonio stayed out late to drink with had. The Austrian shook, thinking about the night he left Antonio.

Roderich remembers taking whatever was of any value to him-what he loved, at least what wouldn't cheat on him-and packing it away into a bag. It was a relatively small duffel bag, he didn't have many personal objects, he didn't spend his money on trivial things like Antonio had.

Then he left.

He had plans to stay with a friend, a lovely girl he'd know since childhood. The Austrian made his way there, only pausing for a moment when he had received a call. He kept walking, but answered the call.

It had been Antonio, looking for him.

_**So now you care**,_ he had scoffed.

_**Roderich, you're being childish, get home now**,_ Antonio said, but Roderich could hear the would his words had made.

_**No.**_ Roderich wouldn't be threatened into a corner.

_**Roderich! Dios mio, why are you doing this!**_ Antonio was getting angry again. _He must have been drinking,_ Roderich thought.

_**Because you cheated on me, **_and then he hung up, and that was the last time he spoke to Antonio.

Roderich remembers Elizabeta.

The beautiful, strong girl. She had been the one to take Roderich in when he left Antonio. She had comforted him, slept beside him when he couldn't sleep without a warm body next to him. So, it was no surprise that Roderich had fallen for her.

Roderich remembers being so nervous to ask her out, thinking she didn't reciprocate his feelings. He was just as nervous the day he proposed to her, palms sweating, shaking nervously, completely undignified behavior, that's what she did to him–and he loved it. He was happy, something he hadn't been in a long while. Roderich shook again, like how he had nervously, except there was no happily ever after this.

If Roderich could give her the world, he would have. His job had payed well enough that he could give her the wedding of her dreams. They spent months planning it, it would be the beginning of the rest of their lives. The closer it got to their wedding date, the more anxious Elizabeta seemed to get. Roderich guessed it was just pre-wedding jitters, nothing to be too worried by.

Roderich remembers their wedding day, he was there, standing at the alter. For three hours. It wasn't until Vash, another childhood friend of his that he'd somehow convinced to be his best man smacked some sense into him that she had left him.

The violet eyed man packed his duffel bag for the second time, with far fewer things than before. He'd only taken his clothes and wedding band, this time. Roderich was beginning to stop caring for any kind of possessions now.

This time he was going to live by himself. He made his way to somewhere he didn't know, where would he go? Again, as if fate wanted to rub salt in the wound, Roderich received a call.

It was Elizabeta this time.

_**Yes?**_ Even with a broken heart, he couldn't be rude to a woman.

_**Roderich, oh Roderich, I'm so sorry!**_ She had whimpered, but Roderich didn't accept her apology.

_**For what, Elizabeta?**_ He had gritted out.

_**I'm sorry I missed the wedding! I-I had got caught in– **_Her end of the line was cut off by a males voice, speaking a confused, _**Beta? Who're you talking to? Are you coming back to bed, baby?**_

Roderich had smiled wryly, _**Goodbye, Elizabeta, Ich habe keine Liebe für dich.**_

Then he hung up. Last he heard, she had left him for some Turkish man named Sadiq that she'd dated before him. He'd forget her. Eventually.

Roderich decides he doesn't want to remember anymore, and continues walking down the street. He hadn't realized he'd stopped or that it had started to rain. At least his tears would go away before the rain let up.

It had been two years since his wedding day. Roderich, for some reason he couldn't conceive, didn't remove the wedding band. Maybe he wasn't ready to receive flirtatious come ons yet, or maybe he just hadn't moved on. He wouldn't admit to the latter.

**"We break up..."**

Roderich's attention is brought up when he hears music. It's grungy, and dissatisfying to his musician ears, but he doesn't mind. He listens to the man singing, finding himself drawn to the voice.

**"It's okay, let it go,"**

The words only make his heart ache.

**"Get out there and find someone..."**

The Austrian wanders over to the club at which the band is playing, actually finding himself entering. He doesn't stand in, but he's drenched with water, and was too intrigued by the music.

**"Stop what you're doing!"**

Roderich stares up at man. An albino, how peculiar. Violet eyes meet the man's crimson red ones, and he doesn't think for a moment. But then the red eyes look away, and he keeps singing.

**"You don't wanna ruin, the chance that you've got to..."**

He bites his lower lip, his heart hurting in his chest. Roderich takes a seat near the back, listen to the man sing. A permanent frown on his lips since Elizabeta left him, he just listens as the red eyed man sings to him.

**"Find a new one!"**

The albino smirks at the crowd, pulling the microphone off the stand.** Haha, everybody put up your hands!**

Roderich watches in surprise as the man jumps off the stage, joining the crowd.

**Say I don't wanna be in love! **he hollers, head banging with the crowd, who respond, chanting "I don't wanna be in love!"

**Feel the beat now**, the man calls out, smirking back at his band, a blonde drummer with sky blue eyes, and a grin, another blonde, his hair longer and wavy, older looking, with some stubble. The last boy in the band was a dirty blonde, and eyebrows like caterpillars. They made Roderich giggle, which he suppressed behind a thin hand.

The albino man seemed to notice it, his eyes widening slightly, but he only falter slightly in his hollering, **If you got nothing left, say I don't wanna be in love**!

The chanting of the group persisted, and Roderich felt the urge to join them rise up. But he didn't, no, this was much to barbaric.

**Back it up now,** the man spoke, drawing closer to Roderich, but he had to be imagining it, **You got a reason to live.**

Roderich stared up at him, his eyes shaking. The frown on his mouth shook, and he felt something swell within him.

**Say I don't wanna be in love**, the singer spoke, staring directly at Roderich. He waited, the crowd cheering it, but he waited for Roderich to say it. When Roderich didn't, he frowned, shaking his head.

**Feelin' good now, don't be afraid to get down**, the albino hissed, moving with the fans, but not as excitedly, **Say I don't wanna be in love**.

**I don't wanna be in love**, Roderich whispered, slowly slipping the ring off his finger, his fingers shaking as he did so.

The man noticed this, his grin returning, and he pumped his fist in the air, **Yeah, yeaaah**!

Climbing back on stage, the singer finished up the song, staring directly at Roderich as he did.

**Now you know what to do,** **so come on, **he said, a genuine smile on his pale lips, **Feel good.**

Roderich's head snapped down, looking away in embarrassment. He stared at the gold band in his hand, a blush spreading over his cheeks. What was he doing? This was impulsive. Roderich wasn't impulsive, not since... not since a long time ago.

_**So, what brings a frilly guy like you here?**_

Violet eyes widen, and he looked up in surprise at the singer. What was he doing here, talking to _him_? **P-pardon me?**

_**You can call me Gilbert, or Herr Awesome, whichever you'd prefer,**_ Gilbert smirked, taking a seat next to Roderich. He rested his chin on the palm of his hand, _**So, why are you **here**?**_

_**I.. I have no clue, honestly,**_ Roderich spoke slowly, trying to pick his words carefully. Why was he here?

_**Oh? Did you just see me, and come in in hopes of getting the chance to meet the awesome me? **_Gilbert practically _purred_, and Roderich was sure the male was teasing him. He blushed regardless.

_**Don't flatter yourself,**_ he scoffed, crossing his arms, fingers curling around the ring.

_**Oh, I'm not, **_Gilbert sneered, _**I'm actually downgrading it a bit.**_

Roderich shook his head. What was with this guy? The albino seemed to be more trouble than he was worth.

_**Don't dwell on the past, okay?**_

The words from Gilbert brought his attention back. _Huh_?

Gilbert sighed, running a hand through his hair, _**I know this sounds weird but, don't live in the past, live for the future, ja? **_He smiled lightly, and Roderich could tell it was true.

_**I...** _Roderich didn't know what to say, the words of encouragement... they helped, **_Thank you.._.**

_**And you can start by going out on a** **date with me, if you think you're awesome enough**,_ Gilbert laughed, making Roderich glare at him.

_**Stupid,**_ the brunette hissed, _**why would I want to date someone as insolent as you?**_

But he did show up at that club more often.

* * *

a/n: ...songfic to "Don't Want to Be In Love" by Good Charlotte.

I never thought I'd actually make a songfic.

It's not shit, is it? Sorry for the terrible ending.

edit; fixed a fuckton of typos, and changed the dialogue format. is it easier to read?


End file.
